Deep Thoughts

Kill me now is a good side note.

Amy, we forgot to cover what our favorite words were! I just spent about an hour and a half go back and forth with my roommate Amy about what our favorite things happen to be. It's cool, I learned about Amy and myself, but then comes in the realization that we don't do anything and we live in Los Angeles. For crying out loud last night we told each other ghost stories-resulting in two conclusions: 1. Amy is going to kill me with a hatchet 2. Ducks Kill. I think that is all that I have to say about that.

I realized that I am happy with having a job but I also realize that in about a month holding down two jobs at the same time just might kill me. At least it gets me out of the house right?

Current Location: A voided room in Los Angeles
Current Mood: apathetic
Current Music: Boston-"More Than A Feeling"

I have to update, just because I know that I'm supposed to. So, what have I been up to...well, dealing with my parent's divorce, woot woot that was fun, but now that is over. I went to Vegas with my mom, it was interesting, saw Tom Jones, I was allowed to gamble and I won around ninety dollars-super fun! One of my best friends in the whole world, Meg-Meg, is coming to visit me on Saturday and then we are going to go to San Francisco for a couple of days. Then I will be going to Massachusetts for nine days to see my brother his family and my grandma, whom I miss so much. I have yet to hear from the school about wether or not I'm going back, which is starting to piss me off. No one has actually found out though, it really sucks. I am signed up with an extra agency so I will hopefully be doing extra work, which is kinda fun? I guess. But, what I am most excited about is my summer job!!!! I am going to be working at Aloha Beach Day Camp!!! I am a couselor, I will be at the beach every single day surfing, swimming, building sand castles, I'm psyched! I will do that from the middle of June until the end of August! So, that's what I'm up to.

Special note to Mere...I've been thinking about you alot lately and I really miss you! I haven't talked to you in forever! Which, is really bad on my part. = (

Gas to drive to the airport to pick up mom...$30
Brunch with mom at Norm's in L.A...$17
Learning your parents have been divorced for a month as you walk into Sav-On drugs on La Cienega in West Hollywood...Priceless

I'm listening to my music right now and I keep on remembering that at my funeral I want "Heaven" by Los Lonely Boys to play. Now, I don't intend on having a funeral anytime soon...but when I do-this song needs to be playing. I suppose this is a morbid subject but it's what I want...that will be my wish, also the song makes me think of my friends back in Florida...especially Meg-Meg.

I have been becoming a stronger person lately. I have been understanding things about people and have been just going on doing what I do. After all, scotty doesn't know...and it's the principal of the thing.

Yeah, it sucks realizing that you can't do anything to change things, but that's life. There is only so much an individual can do, not that the individual shouldn't go forward and try to do something worthwild in the world, because we all need to make changes in this world in a way. I suppose for me it is being my own person.

Current Mood: indifferent
Current Music: "Run, Baby, Run"-Sheryl Crow

I have so much on my mind right now it is insane! I am trying to express some things but I can't; and it really, really sucks. I get cast in exam plays on Wedensday, so that should be alot of fun. I just....ughh!!!! Never mind. I'm frustrated, can you tell?

Current Mood: frustrated
Current Music: To Zion-Lauryn Hill

I suppose I should update for anybody that's interested. Well, let's see...I have a ton of homework to do...so that's always fun. I have an extremely difficult scene from The Dreamer Examines His Pillow by John Patrick Shanley. I'm tired but have so much to do-ahhh!!!! My zed card is ready for me to go get it from my modeling agency; I just have to find the time to get down to Newport Beach, which will be God knows when. Probably sometime next week....

On a bright, bright, sunny note one of my greatest friends in the world is going to be here in a week!!!!!! JOHNNA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so excited!!!!! We have so much to do, so many places to go, so many people to see, I can't wait! *Taps foot*

Current Mood: blank
Current Music: Black Eyed Peas

If this person were a tree they would be a big tree with the sun setting behind it-(think Lion King)

If this person were a song from Rent they would be La Vie Bohem.

If this person were a fruit they would be a strawberry.

If this person were a body part they would be eyes.

If this person were an article of clothing they would be a colorful scarf.

If this person were a T.V. show they would be The Brady Bunch.

If this person were a book they would be "Goodnight Moon".

If this person were a religion they would be Buddhism.

If this person were an animal they would be a trained dolphin.

If this person were to be in a different time era they would be a gypsy.

If this person were a saying they would be "Still waters run deep."

If this person were a playground activity they would be hopscocth.

This is how my Acting Class described me, it's a really fun way to see how people see you.

Current Mood: curious
Current Music: The Smiths

Wow, I have let my fitness go down the tubes these past couple of months... This is what made me realize this-I went up to Runyon Canyon today; the Canyon that I used to be able to RUN without any problems I found myself dying WALKING it-I jogged around an 1/8 of a mile and wanted to die. I was in so much better shape a while ago-I would wake up every morning at 7 and do some sort of physical thing before starting my day.

Back in Florida Johnnna and I would sometimes spend close to three hours in the gym...now, I have to drag my ass to the gym. I'm really disappointed in myself, so I've decided to change what I've been doing. I'm slowly going to try and get up before 9 in the morning, even if I don't I'm going to force myself to workout.

I actually love working out, I don't love that I can't do what I used to be able to do. It's funny when I was little I secretly wanted to be in the military because my dad had been in the Navy-I wanted to be a really tough girl-I never saw G.I. Jane, but that's what I wanted to be like. I still desperately want to be able to do a one-armed push up...

So, no more excuses-I've been making way too many of them. I'm going to start really pushing myself, besides all of that I have to; otherwise I'm going to be in trouble with this industry.

Current Mood: determined
Current Music: Rob Zombie

Went down to Newport Beach because I had an interview with an agency...they signed me. I feel strange and weird-I'm not out of school yet. I can't help but think it's all a scam, I'm so weary of it all I don't know what to think. When more develops of this I'll let everybody know...

Current Mood: weird
Current Music: "Stay With You"-John Legend

It's interesting. It's curious. The more you live it, the more you discover. Sometimes, you just don't know what to do with it, but you just have to keep on going.

Second night of work down and I was a quarter short in my drawer...oh, well. C'est la vie. My job is easy, fun, but easy. That's cool though, b/c I will take $8 an hour to scoop ice cream, yes I will. I know that my hands are going to be hideous after so many prolonged months here though. The freezer just numbs them and it kinda sucks. I bet most people didn't realize that there is a specifc art to scooping ice cream, but there is! And...I'm slowly getting it. Interesting thing of the night, homeless man walks in to go through trash can and then leaves. It was odd, funny and sad all at the same time.

I love randomly seeing ghosts in Hollywood, they disappear pretty quickly once I try to focus on them, they vanish. But, one day I'll tune them in for long periods of time. I was walking home tonight and realized how old I feel...like I'm becoming in charge of my life slowly but surely. I also feel incredibly small, I saw the stars tonight in Hollywood-that doesn't often happen, otherwise I don't often take the time to see.

I love condiments, I have realized this about myself. If someone gave me a meal of nothing but ketchup, mustard, relish, sweet and sour sauce, throw a couple of pickles in and I would be one super happy person. Why did I just write that? I have no clue.

Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: Martin on TV

My next scene is from "Rumors" by Neil Simon. I am Cassie and I am cast with one of my L.A. best friends Anthony. He is Glenn. It should be fun, I hope so at least. I need to go through and disect the play a bit more.

I am not looking forward to attend Voice and Speech today, honestly crawling around on the floor making strange noises just makes me want to go to bed, and really is not that enjoyable to me, but I know it is all for a purpose so I am going to suck it up and do it.

I have to do more research on the Waltz, we are performing it next Friday. It's fun, but to a certain extent I feel like we are a bunch of pre-schoolers just running around the floor at times. I feel like I've veen back at school forever already and it has only been three weeks.

I met a first year winter who went to UCF, how crazy is that may I ask? I think it's pretty crazy. Her name is Nadine, she's uber nice.

I got a job working at Gelato Paradiso on Hollywood Blvd. across from Grauman's Theatre, woot, woot! I'm going to be serving up some Gelati!

My tummy hurts...but that's neither here nor there. I am currently on the prowl for a job so that I can afford to go to BADA this summer if I even get into it. Other than that...not a whole hell of a lot is going on with me, just going to school, working out, hanging out...that's my life! So um, I'll hopefully have something exciting to post later...

We got to hear William H. Macy speak today at our school. It was cool, he seems like a shy man, he constantly looked down or up, it wasn't until the end that he really started to make eye contact with people in the audience. It's exciting that our school brings in speakers for us, even if you don't agree with everything they say, it's awesome to see respected actors and hear their thoughts on everything.

I'm back in Cali and it is wonderful! New Year's I did nothing b/c I had an absolutely terrible flight so I just wanted to stay in and sleep. Sunday not too much...just hanging out, Monday school started! I am so excited to be back I love all of my teachers and classes so far. It's just so great to be back even though I miss everybody that is back in Florida. Other than that I have nothing to report, I saw "Brokeback Mountain", it was really good. Other than that everything is same old same old!

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: Watching "Unscripted" w/ Anthony

Ah, I go home in three days or so...it's insane! This trip back has passed by so quickly! I don't think that I'm even going to get to see everybody that I wanted to see...Oh, well, I'll be back for a month in the summer at any rate. Tomorrow I am going with some great friends to Club Paris...I kinda can't believe that I'm going...but I am...so strange...I'll see how that goes.

I miss my family here, it's sad= ( But I love Cali, and I miss everybody there so I can't wait to go back.

Current Mood: content
Current Music: ~None~

There is nothing quite like being sick on Christmas Eve. I feel horrid, it really is a problem. Aside from that I have been have a wonderful time here in Florida. I have gotten to see my friends, I have gotten to spend time with my family. Florida really is a wonderful place, I think that is just suffocates you if you are here for too long. Hopefully, I will be better soon, this is not fun at all!

Current Mood: sick
Current Music: Los Lonely Boys-"Crazy Dream"

I'm coming back to Florida on Sunday!!! I have so many people to see!!!!

So, the word Vegan was derived from Vegetarian in 1944, when Donald Watson was upset that Vegetarian had come to mean consuming dairy products and eggs. I understand-most people even ask me if I eat fish when I tell them I'm a vegetarian-I suppose I missed that day in Biology when we learned that fish are not living creatures.

What's my point? My point is that I've decided to be a vegan-I'm eliminating all dairy products and nothing made with eggs. I told myself a year ago that I would become a vegan in a year...I don't know why I was holding out so long. Well, no, I do-I've wanted to be a vegetarian since I was ten; but my mother wouldn't let me-I would get away with not eating meat for a couple of months before she would freak out on me. So, right before I turned eighteen I did it-my mom didn't figure it out and when she did I was already eighteen...not much she could force me to do at that point.

I wanted to be a vegan then but I wasn't ready for the commitment-I'll be the first to say I like cheese, but I'll also be the first to say I don't think humans should drink something meant for a cow's child. Whenever I eat something with a dairy product in it, I'm always thinking about what is happening to dairy cows-I can't contribute to it anymore. I'm done-I'm a vegan.

So, why am I blogging this? Mainly b/c I want to write about it, but also I want people to be understanding and not give me crap about it. I hope I won't have as big of an issue with people understanding in California as I would back east. It's weird when you tell people you are a vegetarian or vegan it is like you are coming out...especially to your parents. I suppose not everyone understands why, that's fine-I just don't want people to harass me about it, b/c I don't harass people that don't share my view points.

I'm happy, I know I'm making the right decision-I may slip up now and then, but I hope not-everything takes a little getting used to, but I'm ready. I'm excited!

Current Mood: ecstatic
Current Music: South Park on the T.V.